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My Mother’s Day~
Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and I usually spend my time on Mother’s Day concerned about making it special for my mother, step-mother, and mother-in-law. I am very lucky to have three beautiful women to call my mom, and so grateful they are all in my life, each one offers a special ingredient to my life.
But I am also a mother, and I want to reflect on what that means to me.
Many of you may not be aware of this, but I got pregnant when I was in high school, I was stubborn as hell and refused any and all alternatives other than having and keeping my baby. My family, with the best intentions, tried to talk me into an abortion or giving the baby up for adoption since I was so young and unprepared for the journey ahead. Luckily for me, my high school sweetheart wanted me and the baby, and gave up so much to make this happen. He dropped out of school to go to work full time to support us, and this was not easy when you’re 17 with no high school diploma. He worked day and night to make enough money to keep a roof over our heads. We had to use the WICCA food program at the time to keep food on the table, and because we had no insurance, I was forced to go to County for my prenatal health care. While the care was adequate, the conditions were far less so. I would go sit for hours at county waiting for my 15 minutes with the doctor. The county jail inmates were also seen at county, and would be filed in and sit right across from me. It was a scary, confusing, and often humiliating time for me, but a choice I made.
Unfortunately, my care isn’t what it would have been in the private sector, so the doctors allowed me to go 3 weeks beyond my due date. By that time my baby was so large there was no way I could have him normal, and after a 24 hour labor, they were forced to do an emergency C-section, but I had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. We named him Brian, and he was such a joy, always happy and smiling, an easy baby.
A little over 4 years later, my husband desperately wanted another child. Thankfully we were doing much better financially by then and even had insurance. While I was quite satisfied with the status quo and really hadn’t considered another child, I agreed and got pregnant right away, our kids would be almost exactly 5 years apart.
I so badly wanted a daughter, and this was before ultrasounds were used regularly, in fact you only received an ultrasound if the doctor felt there was a problem. So I was unaware of the gender of either child until their birth. But I just knew in my heart that this would be my little girl, and I would name her Krystal.
Because I had previously had a C-section, the doctor felt it best I have another one. It was scheduled like any other appointment, except this time I came home with a baby.
It was my girl, and she was beautiful. Unfortunately we had quite a scare for the first 6 months of her life, when she was diagnosed with several heart murmurs and may require heart surgery at a later date. Luckily, her heart murmurs healed themselves as she developed and never needed surgery.
I now had 2 beautiful children, and Brian doted on his little sister. When he was only 5 years old, he would get up early in the morning before his dad and I awoke, get his sister out of the crib and change her diaper.
My children grew up and blossomed, it was always such a thrill to watch for their next adventure. Unfortunately, their dad and I grew in different directions and we later divorced. But I will never forget the incredible man he was at such a young age. He stepped up and took responsibility for a young pregnant wife. I don’t think I ever gave him the credit he deserved for his sacrifice, as I know it changed the trajectory of his life (or more likely, this is exactly the direction are lives were meant to go).
My children are now almost 40 and 35, my son is married and has 2 beautiful children of his own. My daughter is just getting married this year, and is my best friend. I can’t imagine my life without these two special humans in it.
I am truly blessed and grateful to be a mother.